Blueprint of Communication

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As with a majority of great architectural designs, communication styles within families are also created from a blueprint. The Collins English Dictionary defines a blueprint as “an original plan or prototype that influences subsequent design or practice” (n.d.). An architectural blueprint provides the builder with design details which can lead to a successful or unsuccessful project (Woody, 2011). The same is true for the development of communication styles within an individual. If families provide a strong communication blueprint then children will construct healthy ways to exchange ideas. Subsequently, children will become adults who can effectively communicate, thus leading them to a safe, open and well-rounded relational environment. By contrast, if families do not model healthy ways of talking with each other, then children will practice dysfunctional behaviors of interacting with people in their milieu. Whenever someone builds a house there are four crucial elements that must be put into place to provide security and safety for the homeowners. The four elements include the foundation plan, frame plan, floor plan and roof plan (Woody, 2011). Likewise, my family of origin embodied similar relational blueprint plans which provided the formation of communication patterns within my life. The foundation of my communication patterns was laid by my mother and father, since they were the key communicators within my family. Primarily, I was exposed to two main patterns of communication: placating and blaming. My father was an ordained pastor/preacher and my mother a house-wife. Although my parents had been together for approximately twenty-one years, it was not the most preeminent relationship. My father was the blamer in our home. He was the “fault-finder, dictator and boss who acted superior” (Satir, 1988, p. 87) to the entire family. My father displayed inconsistent and schizophrenic relational behavior. For example, in the church he expressed love...
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